Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
