She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
