i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
