oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
