If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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