What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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