Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
