Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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