what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
