Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize