what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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