My nipple is on Facebook.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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