It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
A bitchslap is in order.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
