Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize