Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
