gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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