There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
