Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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