As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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