I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize