Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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