Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
