it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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