I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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