I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
