If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
