I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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