I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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