he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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