are you so shy because you have an std?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Can't talk, ducks in the car
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
