if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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