btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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