What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
