whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
