You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
