Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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