Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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