Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
