Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
