My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
