I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
