But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
