we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
nutella sex= disaster
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
