what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
