DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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