we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
