YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
