I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
