I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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