and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
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well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
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Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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