you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
