Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Your mouth is God's brothel.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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