Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
