Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Let's get the cat blown out
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
