it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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