Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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