last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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