Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
