you would pick up someone in the library
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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