Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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