He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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