we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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