But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
