happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
