I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
BRING THE BAGELS
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
