I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
