That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
